Every workplace will encounter grief. The question is not whether it will appear, but how it will be met.
Bereavement policies are an essential part of any compassionate workplace. But for many employees, the hardest part isn’t the time away from work, it’s returning to work.
Grief doesn’t follow a schedule. It doesn’t neatly resolve after a week or two of leave. When someone returns to their desk after losing a loved one, they are often carrying a heavy weight that affects how they think, feel and function day to day.
Insights from Hospice UK’s work on grief and loss in the workplace remind us of a crucial truth: supporting employees after bereavement isn’t a single event. It’s an ongoing process that requires awareness, empathy and practical adjustments.
Bereavement is the experience of someone important to us dying.
Grief is the emotional reaction to loss, whether through death or through living losses.
Disenfranchised grief is often misunderstood, undervalued, or invalidated by social norms. Disenfranchised grief can feel similar to grief through bereavement. Some examples may include: Breakdown of a relationship, fertility issues or loss of a job.
Anticipatory grief is the feeling of loss or grief we experience before someone dies. It is common both in people living with life-limiting illnesses, and in those anticipating the death of a loved one.
Around a quarter of the working population experiences bereavement each year. That means grief is not a rare or isolated issue, it is a regular part of working life.
When an employee returns after a loss, they may experience:
These reactions are normal. Grief is not just emotional; it can be physical, cognitive, spiritual and behavioural too.
An employee who was previously high-performing may temporarily struggle with tasks that once felt routine. Without understanding, this can easily be misinterpreted as disengagement or poor performance.
Recognising grief as a legitimate workplace experience is the first step towards meaningful support.
Employees are more likely to cope well with a return to work if they feel psychologically safe.
Psychological safety is the confidence that they can be open about their needs without fear of judgement or negative consequences.
In a psychologically safe environment, people feel able to say:
Creating this environment starts with managers. Simple, thoughtful communication can make a profound difference.
Phrases like the examples below show care and openness:
In contrast, well-intentioned clichés such as “You’ll get through it” or “They are in a better place” are phrases to avoid, as they can unintentionally minimise the person’s experience.
Managers and leaders don’t need the perfect thing to say, but they should provide presence, patience and a willingness to listen.
Be present in the conversation – not just listening to respond. Turn on do not disturb on devices, find a private room and avoid busy settings.
Take a moment to process before you respond, considering what you have heard so you can build on the conversation.
Noticing details, body language, mood and attitude. Try and remain in an open stance, and be patient whilst they talk.
Learn to sit comfortably in the silence. Silence can be healthy and sometimes it is all the comfort someone needs. Try and practice sitting in the discomfort of silence. Compassionate Conversation Training can really help with this.
Acknowledging all emotions and not denying those you don’t relate to.
Welcome other experiences, withholding any judgements and not projecting your own experiences.
Be mindful of sharing personal experiences of grief without permission, it can be helpful for some people to share experiences, however, make sure you are prioritising the bereaved employee over your own emotions.
Small adjustments can significantly ease the transition back to work.
Flexible expectations are key, because it shows employees experiencing loss that you acknowledge their capacity may fluctuate. This might include:
Clear communication always helps too. A gentle check-in conversation before the employee returns can explore questions such as:
Hospice UK has created an excellent resource they’ve called the Get To Know Me document, which is designed to help employees outline how they prefer to be supported, important dates that may be difficult, and signs that they might be struggling.
It helps to create a shared understanding and reduces the pressure on the employee to repeatedly explain themselves. Sections include:
What more can you do?
Grief often intensifies around anniversaries, birthdays and other significant dates. An employee who seems to be coping well may experience a sudden resurgence of emotion months or years later.
Forward-thinking workplaces anticipate this. Managers who remember and acknowledge important dates (even with a quiet check-in) demonstrate sustained care.
This doesn’t require grand gestures. A simple message such as, “I know today might be a difficult day. Please let me know if you need anything,” can be deeply reassuring.
It is also important to accept that grief does not disappear. Instead, people learn to live alongside it as their lives continue to grow around their loss. Work can be a valuable source of routine, connection and purpose, but only if the environment remains supportive.
Legal rights around bereavement and caring responsibilities are evolving, and enhanced leave policies are an important foundation. However, culture ultimately determines how supported employees feel.
A workplace culture that values visibility and education around grief helps normalise conversations about loss. Training managers to respond confidently and compassionately ensures that support is consistent rather than dependent on individual personalities.
Your employees will always remember how they were treated during their most vulnerable moments. When organisations treat bereavement as a shared human experience, they help to build loyalty, trust and wellbeing.
Every workplace will encounter grief. The question is not whether it will appear, but how it will be met.
In the long term, compassionate responses to grief do more than help individuals. They shape workplaces where people feel safe, respected and connected.
Lucy Carpenter, Compassionate Employers Lead, Hospice UK
Lucy Carpenter leads the Compassionate Employers Programme at Hospice UK, supporting organisations to better care for employees experiencing grief, caring responsibilities, or life-changing diagnoses. Her team’s work reaches more than 165,000 employees across UK workplaces. With extensive experience as a facilitator, trainer, and advisor on compassionate leadership, Lucy brings expertise in issues related to death, dying, and grief at work.
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